A new awakening, spring time, new life, SDTantra

Sacred Desire Is The Secret Key To Happiness

Sacred Desire
Goddess, Thy Name is Desire

Desire shepherds you to supreme satisfaction in the fullness of your Self.

Desire brings you what you want; it takes you where you want to go. In the end, desire leads to what you want most. It carries you to the supreme goal of life. Desire escorts you to greater and greater joy, more evolved ecstasy, and ultimately to pure ecstasy. Desire ushers you into Sacred Union.

Desire not only leads to something sacred, but also it is born sacred. It is sacred in origin. In fact, desire is sacred every step of the way from source to goal. It is sacred through and through.

There is more to desire even than this. The sacred origin and sacred goal of desire are one and the same. Desire is circular — it ends where it begins. Its magic lies in what you gain along the way. This gain is evolution. This is why desire is also called the Circle of Life.

The circle of desire is life’s journey from its sacred source to an evolved state, and then back to its sacred source, newly evolved.

This is a lot to say about something so simple as desire, but soon you’ll see that it is so. Desire even gives a logical place to start.

Because desire is born sacred, that is where any discussion of it should begin — with its sacred origin.

The sacred source of desire can be understood in different ways. For those who accept the idea of God and/or Goddess, desire is born of this divine origin. This can be explained from either an Eastern or Western view of the Divine. If you don’t like the idea of God/dess, you can understand it from a humanist view — that desire originates in the best of man. That would be as sacred as sacred can be in a godless creation.

The humanist view is simplest, and helps to understand the Divine view as well.

When we look at the long history and great variety of human achievement across the globe, it is all clearly the product of desire. Together, it represents the overall progress and evolution of human society. The vast diversity and endless stream of desire shows that it comes from an inexhaustible source within man. However we choose to understand that source we must regard it with reverence, even in a humanist or non-religious sense, for the good it brings. (The fact that some people use desire for lesser values does not negate its sacred potential.)

The Western view of God gives a similar understanding. For that we must look to the first desire ever — God’s desire to create. If we conceive of a time before creation, when God alone existed, we must justify that creation. After all, it’s a creative act, in the truest sense of the word. For what possible reason can God have done it? Certainly God, being All-Knowing, All-Powerful, Omnipresent, and All-Everything has no NEED for creation. He is everything He needs within Himself. The only possible reason can be that He desired it, and continues to desire it, pure and simple. Like an artist desiring to express himself, God desired to show what He could create. Thus desire is inherently sacred.

Sacred Desire, Key To Happiness, SDTantra

The Eastern view of God is the same, except a little more detailed. Eastern traditions have always been more experience-based than faith-based, and enlightened teachers have explained the details of God & Goddess as they experience them in their own lives. The Eastern masters explain the very inception of creation — that first act by which the unmanifest God conceives manifest creation.

The Eastern view teaches that God first becomes Self-Aware. This first act explains how the One God becomes the many — the manifold creation. God is pure and undivided — the One. But when God becomes Self-Aware, diversity is born. God is both subject and object of His own experience. Thus duality is born of Unity. And in their interaction – subject & object relating in different ways – multiplicity is born. This is the start of creation.

But this is not the significant point for our concern. What interests us is WHY. Why that first act, which is the seed of creation? Why does God become Self-Aware? After all, He can simply switch off His Universal Mind and be oblivious to Himself. But he chooses to be Self-Aware. Why?

The answer lies in a quality Eastern traditions attribute to God — Infinite Bliss. The All-Everything God is perpetual Bliss. To know God is to know that Bliss. So God desires Self-Awareness because it is Bliss. The first desire is God’s. Thus desire is of sacred origin.

There is more to this story that is relevant to our lesson on desire. Eastern traditions give a different name to these different conditions of God. In order to better understand and explain it, and to clearly differentiate, they distinguish between the One God and the multiform God. They call the latter ‘Goddess’.

She is God’s Nature — natural Self-Awareness. Universal Mind can’t be anything else. That’s its nature, to be Self-Aware. She is also God’s Will — God’s first law is ‘know thyself’. But most important for our lesson, She is God’s Desire, literally.

This is not in the sense that God desires the Goddess. Rather, it means that She IS desire itself. Goddess is God’s Desire to Know Himself.

This is why we say, ‘Goddess, Thy Name is Desire.’

Eastern traditions worship and adore the Goddess – God’s Nature – as Desire. And while western science may not acknowledge that God’s Nature spawns the universe, it uses that name — nature. Mother Nature, as we commonly call Her, equates with the Goddess. (For a complete discussion of the Goddess, see the Divine Feminine.)

Now we begin to see the role of desire in life. First, desire equates with nature; it is natural. More important, desire equates with the main function of nature — evolution.

Desire is the means by which life evolves.

This is easy to see in everyday life. Desire is behind all the progress and achievement of civilization throughout history. It inspires all material progress, advancement of thought, and also spiritual evolution as well. Desire drives every aspect of life to higher and higher levels. In this way, life evolves.

Physical evolution can even be seen this way. Through our desire to walk upright and speak, these physical abilities evolved in our species.

As enlightening as this understanding is, sacred sex adds more to it. Sacred sex paints a complete picture of evolution and the role of desire in it.

If we were to represent Self-Awareness visually, the best form to depict it would be a circle. We can envision Universal Mind curving back on itself in its desire to know itself. It is a continuous act of evolutionary creation.

This is the prototype of both evolution and desire; all evolution and all desire follow this primal form. It is the pattern for all natural evolution. This primeval archetype is called the Circle of Life. It is also the circle of desire.

This Self-Aware, Self-Satisfied circle of desire has inspired much spiritual symbolism in the East and West. Native Americans call it by the name Circle of Life. Eastern traditions call this same circular form a mandala, representing the revolving continuity of life. For more discussion of this primal symbolism, see the Life-Cycle Forum.

There is still one more question to answer in this understanding of desire, nature, and evolution. We see how it all begins with the primal desire to be blissfully Self-Aware. We also see how this spurs creation — Unity becomes diversity. But why does evolution continue and actually manifest into creation? If God is satisfied in blissful Self-Awareness, isn’t that the end of evolution? Why bother to go on? What more is to gain by manifesting creation?

The answer to this resolves one of humanity’s deepest questions: what is the purpose of life?

Life evolves into material creation to be Self-Aware in physical form.

In religious terms we would say that God creates the universe in order to know Himself in the multitude of nature. Think of it as spreading the Bliss.

Universal Mind takes material form, becoming inanimate and unaware. But from lifeless elements organic life is born, evolving to greater and greater levels of self-awareness. Atop the evolutionary pyramid stands man & woman, the most self-aware of all creatures. Beyond that even, is the potential for full Self-Awareness within us — to experience our eternally blissful Self and to live that Self-Awareness in physical human form. This is Sexual Enlightenment. (For more on traversing the Circle of Life to Self-Awareness, see Journey of the Soul.)

Thus we complete the Circle of Life — natural evolution driven by the impulse of desire. Let’s add these details to our circle of desire to see more clearly:

Now you see why desire is sacred through and through. Every aspect of desire contributes to the evolutionary end. Desire begins and ends in Self-Aware Bliss. The source and goal are the same, but the magic lies in what is gained on the way. That something is a material form or condition in which to be blissfully Self-Aware. That is what desire and evolution are all about. That is the Circle of Life.

That is also why the evolution of new levels of life, inspired by desire, is a sacred act. It creates yet more new forms in which the Creator can know Itself.

In a minute we’ll see how the circle of desire looks in your own life, but first let’s simplify things by getting back to what desire is all about. We saw how the primordial desire was for Bliss. That pretty well sums up the motivation for all desire — more and more joy. So we’ll simply use that as your start and end points for desire — your level of happiness.

Each desire increases your happiness and expands your joy. In sacred sex language we say ecstasy. We don’t typically think of ecstasy as the goal of desire because we think it unattainable, but we desire in that direction. Certainly if ecstasy were available, we’d desire it. And if we could make it permanent we’d reach our evolutionary end. Soon we’ll see how sacred sex delivers permanent ecstasy, but now let’s look at the circle of desire in everyday life.

Say you’re not happy with your life. You are aware of your state; that is the start of your circle in this example. From that source, a desire arises within you — the desire for a better life. Maybe for you that means moving to a new home, getting a new job, meeting new people, or starting a new hobby. Whichever it is, the course of your desire is the action you take to fulfill it. When you achieve your desire you have something material to show for it. That is your manifest desire. Now you let the desire go and enjoy the fruit of your labor. You return to a self-aware state.

As you can see, the start and end of your desire are the same — you are aware of your current state. But along the way desire brings you something new, something of significant value. Your new awareness includes the fulfillment of having a better life. This is a fuller, more blissful awareness. Your sense of self is greater. Your awareness of who you are and what you can do has expanded. It is more evolved, in the direction of full Self-Awareness.

The same holds true for every desire. Each desire arises out of awareness of your present state. You take action to fulfill it. When the desire is satisfied you let it go, becoming aware again, but now of your new state. What you gain on the way is greater awareness of self.

Here’s how the circle of desire looks in everyday experience:

Many, many cycles of evolving desire transpire between its original source and its end state, but that doesn’t change the sacred nature of that origin and goal. It also doesn’t change that desire is sacred every step of the way because it guides evolution from source to goal. But it does explain why many religious and spiritual traditions – and people in general – frown on desire, and discourage free pursuit of it. Looking at the above diagram, you don’t see anything sacred in it.

What’s worse, because the release and end of desire are less obvious, we hardly notice them. When was the last time you noticed letting go of your desire after fulfilling it? Or saw your fulfillment as the evolutionary end of your desire? Commonly then, desire takes on an entirely different look. It appears like this:

Evolution of Desire

From here things get really ugly. Well meaning religionists get hold of it and return God to the picture, but apart from desire because they see no connection. Next they flatten desire into a line because it no longer leads back to its source. They give pursuit of desire a new label because evolution no longer fits. Last, in this new context they judge the result, calling it selfish. Now desire looks downright evil, like this:

This utter misconception of desire is due to limited perception — we don’t see the whole picture of desire. Limited vision sees only partial truth. False ideas fill in the gaps. The new distorted picture denies experiential proof, so we must accept it on faith. This is how cultural and religious beliefs shackle humanity rather than set us free. For a full discussion of this, see When Mores are Less.

The notion of evil desire is part of broader falsehood dispelled in the companion topic to this: the Myth of Evil.

Ironically, the common religious idea that you must ‘let go of desire‘ is true. But theologians so misunderstand the meaning of it that they actually prevent their followers from truly doing so. In the process, they fill people with false guilt and shame that only heighten their failure and suffering.

Letting go of desire does not mean desire is evil or sinful and should therefore be put out of the mind. If nothing else it is impossible because desire drives life; desire-free means dead. Rather, true freedom from desire means this:

When desire comes up, acknowledge, accept, and enjoy it for what it is — your natural desire. If you’re so inclined, act on it and bring it to fruition. Then let it go and enjoy fulfilled contentment. That fulfillment reconnects you with the source of desire. In religious terms, that source is God. It is pure fulfillment of desire.

This is how you complete the circle of desire and how it serves its natural evolutionary purpose. Desire starts from Universal Mind, rises up in your individual mind, runs its course, then you let go. The fulfillment that you feel – to whatever degree you feel it – is the settling of your mind back to its source in Universal Mind. Later you’ll see how sacred sex fulfills the evolutionary aim of desire by inducing you to let go into pure ecstasy — Sacred Union with the source of desire within.

This is how you truly become free of desire. In fact, it is how you become free THROUGH desire. Desire becomes the means to set you free.

By shunning desire as evil from the start, you disrupt the natural flow of life that brings spiritual fulfillment. You abort the Circle of Life in mid-flow, halting its evolutionary progress. Rather than enjoying natural fulfillment at the end, you agitate the soul from the start. You frustrate the heart and mind, creating stress that blocks spiritual experience.

Sacred sex scripture is abundantly clear on this point:

Spiritual practice
Will not be accomplished by asceticism.
As long as the mind is not purified,
One is fruitless & bound by chains of ignorance.
One who, possessing desire, represses desire,
is living a lie….
Therefore, one who desires the Supreme Attainment
Should practice what is to be practiced.
To renounce the sense objects
is to torture oneself by asceticism — don't do it!
-- Chandamaharosana Tantra
Do not suppress your feelings, 
choose whatever you Will,
and do whatever you desire,
for in this way you please the Goddess.
No one succeeds in attaining perfection 
by employing difficult and vexing operations;
but perfection can be gained
by satisfying all ones desires.
-- Guhyasamaja Tantra

Unfortunately, well-meaning religious leaders and spiritual teachers misinterpret their own scriptures regarding desire, and pass these misconceptions along as doctrine. Eastern traditions especially, with their emphasis on experiential enlightenment, often misread desire. A good example is the following verse from the Bhagavad Gita, a crystallization of Vedic and Hindu philosophy:

"He into whom all desires enter as waters enter the ocean, which remains still while ever being filled, he obtains peace; not he who seeks to satisfy desires."
-- Bhagavad Gita, 2.70

Many people interpret this to mean that we should not follow desire. But the verse clearly shows that desires continue, only they don’t disturb the mind because when enlightened, you are permanently satisfied by the source of desire. You don’t depend on the fulfillment of the desire itself for satisfaction. Your mind is like an ocean – permanently still and full (of satisfaction) – even while streams of desire run into it.

Many well-intentioned seekers get lost in futile practices trying to renounce desire. Some Buddhist practitioners for example, advocate desireless life. But Buddha’s own life shows this is not a true path.

Buddha was born the heir of a wealthy king. He lived his young adulthood enjoying all pleasures and desires, shielded from all suffering by his parents. When Buddha came to learn of these things however, he gave up all desires, denying his body and living as an ascetic monk. But after 6 futile years of denial he was no closer to his goal of freedom from suffering. It was then that Buddha realized the truth of nirvana — follow the middle path, neither attached to nor denying desire, but rather accepting life as it naturally comes. Desire does not cause suffering; clinging to it does. You must let go and complete the circle of desire.

Here we should comment on a type of desire that religionists often use to justify its bad name. These are desires that we label as negative. It’s important to understand how these arise, so that you see desire is not to blame, but rather lack of fulfillment of desire.

Desires are of two kinds: proactive and reactive. Proactive desires are those that arise in the natural flow of life. They are healthy, balanced, evolutionary, and life-supporting. Reactive desires arise when proactive desires are suppressed, repressed, ignored, or otherwise denied. They are typically either greedy and obsessive, or negative, anti-social, and life-damaging.

For example, desiring a good job is a proactive desire. Wanting to get even with the person who turned you down for it is a reactive one. Desiring a lover is proactive. Seeking to fill your loneliness with chocolate when you can’t find one is reactive. Wanting financial security is proactive. Stealing from others when you can’t find it is reactive.

In each example, the cause of the negative desire is the denied proactive one. Desire is not the problem, dissatisfaction is. Fortunately, the circle of desire shows how to be satisfied even if your desire is not fulfilled. By enjoying the ecstasy of the source of desire, you desire from a constant state of fulfillment. Reactive desires do not come up. As the above scripture says, you are like an ocean into whom streams of desire flow. Even if a stream is blocked, you remain full.

You only need complete the circle of desire. Yes all desire is circular, but typically the return portion is less potent, to use a sexual term. A little more happiness is still a long way from ecstasy. Sacred sex, however, is a shortcut.

Sacred sex takes you straight to pure ecstasy.

If you’re religious, it may seem strange that a sexual practice can bring you closer to God. But it becomes less so when you consider that spiritual awakening occurs in the physical body. It is therefore integrated with all aspects of bodily life — thought, speech, action, desire, and even sex. And when you understand the physiology of desire, you’ll see how sacred sex does lead to spiritual awakening. In fact, sacred sex is best qualified to do it.

Sacred sex unleashes the full evolutionary power inherent in desire.

Spiritual opposition to desire exists because of limited views of it. People see only the pursuit of desire and not the source or ultimate goal of it. They see base desires and assume desire itself to be base. But when set free and shown a path to true fulfillment, desire reveals its full potential. It shows itself as it truly is — the evolutionary Circle of Life that bestows human awakening. And sexual desire, being our most potent core desire, has the most power to lead desire to its evolutionary goal.

Sexual desire is the most powerful evolutionary force in creation.

These are very strong statements, especially considering the experience of common sex. But sacred sex proves them true because of how it satisfies desire. The circle of desire shows how sacred sex brings sexual satisfaction to an entirely new level over conventional sex. It goes beyond sexual gratification to everlasting ecstasy.

Sacred sex vs common sex

Put simply, sacred sex completes the circle of desire while conventional sex is more like the straight-line path. This means that after sacred sex climax you return to your source, ready to satisfy the circle of desire again. You rise to higher and higher levels of ecstasy each time, until you enjoy Sacred Union — Self-Aware Ecstasy. The circle of desire reaches its evolutionary goal.

[To be completely accurate, common sexual desire is circular too in that you let go of the desire after orgasm. But because of the nature of conventional orgasm, you don’t typically feel to continue with sex after one or two. In that sense it doesn’t return to its start point.]

To see how sacred sex completes the circle of desire, let’s look at the physiology of desire. In particular, we’ll look at sexual desire. You’ll find that it looks like the circle of desire itself. There is a simple reason for that: sexual desire is the circle of desire in bodily form.

Earlier we saw how desire follows the evolutionary Circle of Life. It begins in Universal Mind as Self-Aware Bliss, then manifests into material creation for the purpose of returning again to Self-Aware Bliss IN material creation. This is the pattern for evolution. In the course of evolution, the wheel of desire revolves many times, but each revolution follows the same pattern. This is why in the body, created through many turns of the primal wheel of desire, sexual desire follows the same circular pattern. (For more on how the physical world mirrors the spiritual, see Sacred Spirit, Sacred World.)

To trace the path of sexual desire in the body, we’ll follow the flow of sexual energy. Energy flows with desire. When you desire, your mental, emotional, and bodily energy flows in that direction to fulfill it. The primordial circle of desire works the same. There, the desire of Universal Mind is the flow of Cosmic Energy. The name some cultures use for the Goddess reflects this. In India for example, a primary name for the Goddess is Shakti, which equates with both Cosmic Desire and Cosmic Energy.

Sexual desire, start and end, manifest

The flow of sex energy begins with awareness, where all desire begins. You become aware of sexual desire in your mind. This starts the circle of desire. With sexual desire, your energy flows down to your genitals. The sex act focuses on stimulating these body parts. Sex happens here; this is the manifest point for sexual desire. When your sex energy is sufficiently aroused, you ‘let go’ into orgasm. You let go of everything, including your sexual desire. Your sex energy shoots up your body, flooding your mind with ecstasy. This is the return of your sexual desire to its start point. The circle of desire ends where it began, with awareness — experience of orgasm.

As you can see, sexual desire follows the same exact pattern as the archetypal circle of desire. It begins in awareness, manifests into a physical state, then returns to awareness having gained a bodily way to experience ecstasy. In sex you exactly mirror the first act of creation. Your sex energy behaves just like the primal energy of life. In fact, your sex energy IS primal life energy in a physical body.

Some sacred sex teachings explicitly describe this energy circle in the body. Taoist sex masters call it the heavenly circle or orbit (contemporary Taoist teacher Mantak Chia has popularized it as the ‘microcosmic orbit’). Some yogic traditions of India have a similar circle. Also, the yogic chakra system recognizes that spiritual energy – kundalini – stored in the sacrum travels up the spine for spiritual awakening. This is the return path of life energy after it takes bodily form.

Sexual desire runs in a circle even in conventional sex, but in common sex there is a break in the loop at the moment of orgasm. In conventional orgasm much of your sex energy is expelled from the body.

For men this energy loss is marked by a physical loss — emission of semen from the body by ejaculation. The male seed is a highly refined metabolic end-product that requires much energy to produce. Not only is this energy-laden fluid lost with ejaculation, but also the body must gear up to produce the next batch. This consumes more resources needed for other bodily processes. The result is typical in men after conventional sex — the ‘roll over and go to sleep’ syndrome.

While more subtle for women, energy loss affects her too. Sexual energy builds up in her sexual region and is flushed out with the contractions of orgasm. Her fluids too, which flow strongly at orgasm, are full of energy. And while she may not fall asleep after sex like her partner, women many times feel ‘done’ after orgasm.

This is why common sex is more linear than circular. While you do let go and return to the source, you’re so spent after that you have no energy to repeat the cycle.

Sacred sex includes a simple technique that raises your sexual energy up the spine so that you can enjoy orgasm without losing your sexual energy. Your energy flow is balanced in every direction, like a circle. Sacred sex orgasm not only brings deep ecstasy, but also it revitalizes and energizes you to begin the circle of sexual desire again. You climax again and again.

Because you retain your sexual energy with each orgasm, your climax grows deeper & fuller each time. Your body remains orgasmic for longer periods because more sexual energy keeps it aroused. You enjoy extended orgasm and prolonged orgasmic ecstasy.

Each orgasmic cycle begins with desire. When you fulfill the desire, you desire more. Every orgasm inspires desire for even deeper climax and ecstasy. In this way, desire brings you closer and closer to the ultimate source of desire within you — Self-Aware Ecstasy.

Sex carries you to the peak of ecstasy because orgasm is a complete letting go. You not only let go of desire, but also all thought and even your sense of individuality. For that moment of climax you are simply being. You are timeless and universal. You are pure ecstasy. Sacred sex gives you this experience over and over, so that it becomes increasingly clear and stable.

This is how sacred sex reveals Sacred Union, the primal goal of desire. That is the evolutionary fulfillment of the Circle of Life.

In this way, sacred sex satisfies the evolutionary purpose of life and leads you to spiritual awakening and liberation. It brings you full circle back to your Self. And the method it uses is the most natural and pleasureful one in the world — desire.

Eastern scripture attests to the sacred value of sex that follows this natural course. In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna describes Himself to Arjuna the warrior, on the battlefield of life:

"…I am sex life in accord with natural laws, O Arjuna."
-- Bhagavad Gita, 7.11

Sacred sex is the ideal spiritual path for many reasons. First, it uses the natural tendency of life to pursue and enjoy desire. Second, it uses the most powerful and universal of all desires – sex – to power your progress. Third, it does this all within your human body; no external objects needed. You are fully self-equipped for awakening…though a partner makes it more fun! Last, and perhaps most important, it has sex appeal. No spiritual path, no matter how powerful and effective, has value if you don’t follow it. And if it doesn’t appeal, you won’t follow it for long.

Sacred sex does more than just gratify desire, it permanently satisfies it. There is a difference between gratification of desire and fulfillment of it. Gratification is short-lived on the surface of life. It satisfies the senses and the immediate urge. Fulfillment is true, deep, and lasting. It goes beyond the senses to satisfy the heart, mind, and soul. Gratification is short-lived, true fulfillment is permanent.

Gratification does nothing to satisfy long-standing sexual desire. It merely puts out the fire for a brief period. That fire soon rages again. In contrast, true fulfillment of sexual desire quenches the fire forever. This doesn’t mean that sacred sex ultimately puts an end to sex. It means that sex remains a natural and balanced part of life, not an addiction or obsession. Like aching for true love and finding it — the ache goes away and you live that natural loving relationship the rest of your days.

Fulfillment of desire is higher than gratification, and includes it. Fulfillment of desire also gratifies it, but mere gratification does not bring true fulfillment. Sacred sex gratifies desire, and more. It eternally satisfies sexual desire, over and above gratification.

Gratification of desire comes at the point of manifestation, when the desire is realized. True fulfillment comes at the end of the circle of desire, when you enjoy the desire from a state of Self-Aware Ecstasy. When Self-Aware Ecstasy is permanent, as it is in Sexual Enlightenment, even if a particular desire is not gratified, you are still satisfied. This is the lasting contentment that sacred sex brings. It makes you master of desire, not a slave to it.

Start and End of Desire

In Sexual Enlightenment you are satisfied even at the start of desire. Every desire that comes up in this state is proactive, not reactive. It is natural, healthy, balanced, and life-supporting. Thus sacred sex not only satisfies the aim of desire – lasting fulfillment – but also it improves the quality of desire. So-called negative desires do not arise.

This balanced view of desire was common in early societies with traditions of sacred sex. They viewed desire as but one of the basic aims of life. Desire was neither the highest ideal nor an end in itself. Rather, it was one aspect of a natural, balanced life, and also a means to a higher end. The introductory chapters of the Kama Sutra for example, the popular sex treatise from India, clearly define the place of kama (desire) in human life.

They present life as a spiritual journey, with four main aims:

  1. Dharma – harmony with natural law
  2. Artha – material wealth & gain
  3. Kama – fulfillment of desire
  4. Moksha – spiritual enlightenment

Moksha is the highest and ultimate aim. This precedence is one point, but the Kama Sutra also points out that even the three lesser aims are listed in order of importance. Thus Dharma is better than Artha, and both supercede Kama.

"In Dharma, Artha, and Kama, the preceding aim is superior to the succeeding one…."
-- Kama Sutra, 1.2.14

The chapter concludes with:

"Any action that promotes Dharma, Artha, and Kama together, or any two, or even one, should be performed, but action that promotes one at the expense of the other two should not be performed."

Thus desire is a rightful part of life, and when naturally pursued in harmony with other life aims, it promotes positive growth. We acknowledge the role and significance of desire not to glorify it in its own right, but to accept its rightful place in our broader existence.

It’s interesting to note that the circle of desire satisfies all 4 aims of life. It follows the natural pattern of life and is therefore in harmony with dharma. It promotes proactive desires, ones with the best chance for success. Thus it satisfies artha and kama. And it results in fulfillment in the direction of bliss — it leads to moksha. Sacred sex especially, with its complete letting go resulting in Sacred Union, fulfills the evolutionary goal of the Circle of Life.

Thus sacred sex is arguably the most powerful way to satisfy all 4 aims of human life.

The circle of desire achieves this because it is holistic. It not only harmonizes dharma, artha, and kama of worldly life, but also integrates them with spiritual life — moksha. All desire is therefore a Sacred Union — the union of individuality with universality.

We see this in daily life. All desire is ultimately for wholeness. We want to be and to have more and more. We want to be full and complete — we want to be whole. To whatever extent we feel that wholeness, even if little or not at all, that is our Sacred Union. It is Sacred Union nonetheless, and through the circle of desire it evolves.

This means that all desire is also sexual. The desire for wholeness is quintessentially expressed as sexual desire. The male in us seeks to join with our feminine nature. They seek each other in order to form a perfect union — to be whole. Sexual desire is the consummate essence of life desire. Sex is implicit in general desire, whereas it is explicit in sexual desire. Sex doesn’t beat around the bush; it reveals desire for what it is. Sex energy is nothing other than life energy in its pure, primal form. And sex is not different than life, just its most potent expression.

The circle of desire shows why all desire is sacred, and why all desire is sexual. It is sacred because it reconnects us to our source. It is sexual for the same reason. Reconnecting with our source is the union of our male & female essence. The desire for universal wholeness yearned for by every individual is both a sacred and a sexual desire. What better way to satisfy it than sacred sex?

In this light, a more exact name for the current topic is ‘Sacred Sex Circle of Desire‘. Desire reunites your spiritual family — God, Goddess, god, & goddess. This family reunion blesses you not only with the gift of spiritual awakening, but also with a matching boon you may want more: support for all your endeavors. This comes through your connection to the source of desire within. Universal Mind – the primal source of desire – supports you in fulfilling your desires. You co-create the life you want together with Universal Mind. (For a full discussion of this, see the Sexual Enlightenment Forum.)

Desire is life. It inspires your life energy. It animates your every action. It impels evolutionary growth. Desire is the driving force behind life itself. It creates the karmas that propel your soul into a new body and a new life. Indeed, desire is the motivating power behind creation itself. Universal Mind desires to know and express itself, and so creates the material universe.

To acknowledge, accept, honor, and even worship desire is to do those very same to God’s own Evolutionary Nature.

Desire is indeed sacred, and recognizing it as such dignifies and glorifies creation.

It’s unfortunate that something so simple, natural, and commonplace as desire requires such a lengthy and detailed explanation to show that it’s sacred. What is fortunate however, is that you don’t need to understand it or do anything special or new to make it so. Desire is inherently sacred as it exists now in your life. So too is its evolutionary effect.

Now that you’ve completed the lesson, you have an opportunity to see for yourself what sacred desire means, and how effortless and automatic it is. In fact, you’ve already done it without even noticing.

You began this lesson with a desire to learn about desire. The lesson opened with these words:

Desire shepherds you to supreme satisfaction in the fullness of your Self.

Desire brings you what you want; it takes you where you want to go. In the end, desire leads to what you want most. It carries you to the supreme goal of life. Desire escorts you to greater and greater joy, more evolved ecstasy, and ultimately to pure ecstasy. Desire ushers you into Sacred Union.

Desire not only leads to something sacred, but also it is born sacred. It is sacred in origin. In fact, desire is sacred every step of the way from source to goal. It is sacred through and through.

“There is more to desire even than this. The sacred origin and sacred goal of desire are one and the same. Desire is circular — it ends where it begins. Its magic lies in what you gain along the way. This gain is evolution. This is why desire is also called the Circle of Life.

“The circle of desire is life’s journey from its sacred source to an evolved state, and then back to its sacred source, newly evolved.”

Now you’ve come full circle, back to those opening words. When you re-read them, note how much more meaning they have now than when you first read them. The words are the same, but your appreciation of them is more. Your awareness of desire is greater and your satisfaction with your own desire is a little more. This is the wonder of the circle of desire: life is the same, but your vision of it is more enlightened.

Keep the Sacred Sex Circle of Desire rolling.

Here’s how:

Idea In general life: Follow Your Heart

Idea In sacred sex: see post below

Sexual union is a mirror of Spiritual Union, and a gateway to direct experience of it.

Gary Joseph
SSS Founder

Circle of Sacred Sex Desire in Action Posted: April 3, 2007
This follow-up lesson shows how to easily use desire to achieve the results described in the main lesson above. It is separate here to stand out from the lengthy principles of desire, and is the practice that puts the principles to work. In that, it shows how sacred sex utilizes desire’s full evolutionary power.

Desire is sacred because of its circular form. It begins and ends in a universal experience beyond desire itself. In sex, this experience is orgasm. Orgasm is pure ecstasy. It satisfies and transcends the very sexual desire that leads to it. Orgasm is a ‘letting go’ — it comes when we let go of sexual desire. Thus orgasm completes the circle of sexual desire.

Sacred sex uses desire and orgasm in a simple way to continuously turn the wheel of desire. This repeated revolution of the wheel of desire integrates individual desire with the universal source and goal of desire. Individuality rises to universality. You come to live the eternal ecstatic satisfaction of the source and goal of desire while you desire. You live universality throughout your daily individual life. You enjoy 24/7 Sacred Union. This is Sexual Enlightenment.

Here is the way to do it:

Use any sexual desire. It doesn’t matter whether the desire is ‘pure’ or ‘impure’ in the common sense. The sanctity of desire is not in the desire itself, but rather in the pure ecstasy that comes with letting go. That ecstasy is the same, regardless of the so-called ‘purity’ of the desire. In the end, the ecstasy becomes so overwhelming that it alone remains. Your desire, pure or impure, is forgotten and left behind.

Choose the sexual desire that is truest to your heart — the one that most ‘turns you on’. That is the desire that most powerfully arouses your sexual energy and will most rapidly transport you to ecstasy.

If your desire requires a partner or a group, or acting out some sex act, find others who share your desire and want to practice with you. Or you can simply play out your fantasy desire in your mind. You can, if you wish, even use your desire for self-pleasuring. In short, externals are unimportant; seek out the best expression for your desire, but make the best out of whatever situation is available to you.

Begin your sexual practice with your desire in mind. Arouse yourself or have your partner arouse you according to your desire. Use methods taught in the Sacred Sex Lesson Forum if you wish. Include the Sacred Sexercise technique taught in Lesson 4. After you’re a little aroused, relax and let go of your desire for a few seconds, and just feel your pleasure. It may be only mild at this point, but regardless of how strong it is, feel it until it begins to fade away. It may last just a few seconds, or much more.

When your pleasure fades, pick up again where you left off with your desire and stimulation. Bring yourself to a slightly higher state of arousal, then relax and let go of your desire again. Feel your heightened pleasure until it again starts to fade.

As you get aroused, your desire may change — you may embellish or add to it as you act it out, or it may fade to the background as physical sensation takes over. However it changes is fine; let it change, and use that as your new desire. Your conceived desire may even give way fully to the base impulse to simply enjoy the physical sensation of sex. If your mind ‘stops’ in this way, that’s fine too. Your primal urge to enjoy pleasure is now your desire. Let it spur you to stimulating action, then relax and let go of it, and sink into that pleasure.

Continue repeating this cycle of desire and letting go, bringing yourself to higher and higher states of ecstasy. Each cycle is a revolution of the wheel of desire, from its source in your mind, to acting it out, to its goal in letting go into ecstasy. Each revolution takes you further down the road to a destination where desire and ecstasy are perpetually lived together.

You begin to get a taste of this when you are aroused near the point of orgasm. Then, letting go of your desire lets you slip into that ecstatic state. You slip out of it and back to your desire, arousing yourself more. You let go of desire and slip back into ecstasy. Like this, you repeatedly slip in & out of ecstasy, over and over, until the line between them is blurred. Desire is in ecstasy, and ecstasy in desire. They are two sides of one coin of complete life.

Sacred sexercise helps you attain this state because it stimulates your sexual energy in a powerful and balanced way. It also mimics your body’s natural orgasmic response, inducing it to slip into that state at will. This is all fully explained in Sacred Sex Lesson 4.

There are several ways you can use sexercise during your practice; choose whichever works and feels best for you:

  • sexercise while you desire and stimulate, to further arouse your sexual energy;
  • sexercise when you let go of your desire, to induce ecstasy;
  • sexercise for a period, then relax, regardless of whether you’re desiring or letting go;
  • sexercise whenever you want, in no particular pattern.

A final comment about desiring. Desire in whatever way comes natural to you. Don’t make a chore of mentally repeating or visualizing your desire, or holding it in your mind in any way. Some people have vivid imaginations and their desire will be clear before them like a holographic picture. Others may have just a vague sense or feeling about it that may not even enter their minds while acting it out. None of that matters; do what comes natural to you. Simply have a desire in mind that arouses you – that YOU want sexually for yourself – and begin your practice. To whatever extent and in whatever way it comes back to your mind when you’re done ‘letting go’, that’s the definition of desire for you.

Choose your most intimate desire, let it arouse you to ecstasy, let go and enjoy that ecstasy, then come back and do it all over again…and again…and again…and again.

This page originally published at

Learn about a healing Tantric Massage here.

Scroll Up